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Quinoa’s Summer Boredom Busters


It never fails. Less than a week after school lets out for the summer, my friends begin complaining about summer boredom. It’s hard for me to understand, since I have only experienced boredom once (at a Beige Festival I was taken to as an infant that resulted in my au pair Cannelloni being permanently let go). But I have done my best to draw on that experience to come up with some summer boredom busters to help my friends. Because I’m generous like that.

 

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1. Explore the Great Outdoors
Summer is a perfect opportunity to get in touch with nature by booking a five-star resort in an exotic location. Not only will the background in your selfies be enviable, there’s no better way to get outside your comfort zone than to randomly pick a spa package written another language. Oh, the possibilities!

 

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2. Arts & Crafts
Art nourishes the soul. I like to get in touch with my creative side by having a portrait commissioned every summer. Few things are as fulfilling as seeing a completed masterpiece and telling the painter that, actually, you’ve changed your mind and you’d like him to start over with a different pose. Priceless!

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3. Visit the Library
It’s important to keep one’s mind connected to the written word when school is out of session. That’s why I have a personal scribe write out the entire transcript of my life and have it bound into individual books on a regular basis. At least once a week, I like to take a trip to my private library and pick a volume off the shelf and have it read to me. It’s amazing the things I learn from myself!

 

4. Arrange Activities with Friends
If you’re bored, chances are someone else is too. Play dates are the ultimate remedy for boredom, so I always recommend contacting a dozen of your closest friends and inviting them to do something extravagant and expensive. Whether it’s herding hired llamas through a friend’s penthouse or getting dressed up and going outside for an afternoon of Jolie-Pitting (with or without any Jolie-Pitts – your choice), you’re bound to have a great time.

 

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5. Go to a Park
Nothing beats a little fresh air, so pack a picnic and head to a lavish spot of Nature’s green carpet. Any royal palace garden will do. Versailles is lovely this time of year, though I’d recommend bringing some air conditioning. Sweat is ew.

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