Quinoa here. As Halloween approaches, I feel it’s my duty to help guide the well-meaning boys and girls of the world away from terrible plastic and sometimes shockingly inappropriate costumes (I’m looking at you, sexy cat size 4T) and toward costumes they can be proud of. And by be proud of, I mean, ones that I approve. I’ve gathered a smattering of costumes for girls, boys and babies that you can wear on Halloween with head held high.
Costume Idea: Charlie Brown
Quinoa Rating: B+
While I’m sorry about your three strands of hair, I say make it work for you with a costume like this. To really bring this costume to life, skip naptime so that you appear extra lethargic.
Costume Idea: Jim Henson
Quinoa Rating: B
This throwback costume offers a lot of bang for the buck. Basically, all you need is some faux fur to make a beard, a headband, a stuffed frog and some hippy attire. Take this costume up a notch by practicing impeccable ventriloquism.
Costume Idea: Han Solo with Chewbacca
Quinoa Rating: A-
Anytime you can incorporate a non-human into your costume plans, you’re on your way to success. Plus, you could technically acquire twice as much candy during trick-or-treating that your non-human friend won’t mind at all if you steal.
Costume Idea: Angel
Quinoa Rating: A+
What to do with that library book you forgot to return and then paid $79 plus late fees for? Make it work for you as carefully crafted paper wings attached to an ethereal gown. Take this costume up a notch by trick-or-treating in a glorious meadow in late afternoon lighting.
Costume Idea: Gumball Machine
Quinoa Rating: A+
Even my part-time male model manny Lozenge could make this simple costume out of pompoms and felt. (And he has few hand motor skills beyond eyebrow tweezing.) Take this costume up a notch by having the baby steal at least three quarters from every person she encounters.
Costume Idea: Frida Khalo
Quinoa Rating: A++
The only time you will ever hear me approve of a unibrow is for a dress-up event like this. Stick some silk roses in your hair and sharpen your eyebrow pencil because this is one amazing costume idea. Take it up a notch by offering to paint murals all over the walls of the homes you visit.
Costume Idea: Edward Scissorhands
Quinoa Rating: A-
This costume provides the best opportunity to recycle all those grometted accessories that have been hiding in your parents’ closets since 1993. Take this costume up a notch by acting stiff and weird around Winona Ryder.
Costume Idea: Spaghetti and Meatballs
Quinoa Rating: A
A big red bowl, a bunch of white yarn and some spray-painted foam balls—grownups are going to go nuts for this costume. Take it up a notch by sticking the baby in an actual giant bowl of spaghetti and meatballs.
Costume Idea: June Carter and Johnny Cash
Quinoa Rating: A
When you need a his-and-hers costume idea, this get up is a home run. A boy in black and a girl in a floral dress together with a couple of guitars? It’s a hit. Take this costume idea up a notch by preparing an entire set list to perform at each house where you trick-or-treat.
